I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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