her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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