"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
