After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
