My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
