so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
