so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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