I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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