She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
