If that was your dad, he is hot
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
