It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
