I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
