im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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