I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
