I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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