also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
