And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
