Where did you get a picture of my penis
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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