Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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