Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
