it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this boner is exhausting
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
