he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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