For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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