I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
