Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize