is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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