508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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