Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
