Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
