if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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