I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
