Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My vagina just recognized that song.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
