TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize