just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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