she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize