shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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