your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
