I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize