I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am available for nakedness
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
