any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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