So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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