I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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