You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
