piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
