He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
