My hand turned me down
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
