The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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