You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
