Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wanna passion pit in your ass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
