We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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