White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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