You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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