Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
