what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
