She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
