I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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