i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
