That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
