I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
