this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
