Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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