We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
