it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
