Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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