Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
