Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize