do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
