dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
