we're blogging at a bar
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize