Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
