He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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