it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
