I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize