discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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